Really bad quality
Labels: far, infinite, More, performance, worth, Your Fault
Home: Wishing I was in, Unique New York, United States
About Me: I'm a theatre major working towards Broadway. My goal is to be stage managing there by the time I'm thirty. I write when the urge strikes, which is becoming increasingly rare.
Friday, March 20, 2009
posted by Jill at 11:48 PM
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Call me a heartless bitch,
see what I care.
Rather be cold,
than ever hurt
again.
- Hannah Jo, 2009
see what I care.
Rather be cold,
than ever hurt
again.
- Hannah Jo, 2009
Labels: bitch, break-up, heartbreak, heartless, hurt
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The fierce wind blows,
Rattling the frame of the window.
As I hear the door close,
I know you’re leaving
Me
To find yourself.
As I hear the door close,
I know you’re leaving
Me
To find yourself.
Labels: leaving, love, relationships
Flight
I wish I could fly
So I could finally be
Free
And do all the things
I’ve always dreamed
And be the person
I’m meant to be
- Hannah Jo, 2007
I wish I could fly
So I could finally be
Free
And do all the things
I’ve always dreamed
And be the person
I’m meant to be
- Hannah Jo, 2007
Monday, March 9, 2009
"It's not my fault."
You claim
"I didn't mean to."
Poisonous words
seep into my system,
draining me.
I am dripping
in this feeling
of guilt.
If not with you,
then the blame
Must
Lay
With
Me.
It's my fault,
my fault, my fault
echoing through my mind.
So, I spend years
perfecting myself,
blaming myself.
All the while,
excusing
YOU
and
YOUR
behavior,
Watching YOU
destroy everything
I
build
up.
I try, I try
fixing the unfixable
until I too
am broken.
And the wind
around me
whispers,
"Your fault, your fault.
YOUR Fault."
- Hannah Jo, 2009
You claim
"I didn't mean to."
Poisonous words
seep into my system,
draining me.
I am dripping
in this feeling
of guilt.
If not with you,
then the blame
Must
Lay
With
Me.
It's my fault,
my fault, my fault
echoing through my mind.
So, I spend years
perfecting myself,
blaming myself.
All the while,
excusing
YOU
and
YOUR
behavior,
Watching YOU
destroy everything
I
build
up.
I try, I try
fixing the unfixable
until I too
am broken.
And the wind
around me
whispers,
"Your fault, your fault.
YOUR Fault."
- Hannah Jo, 2009
Labels: broken, relationships, Your Fault
Friday, March 6, 2009
Lust
Eyes darkening,
Toes tingling
warm bodies
and whispered words
One moment of bliss
Often ended...
Alone
Gluttony
My body longs
for you
My hands
itch for you
My lips
savor your taste.
Just can't get enough
of you.
Greed
I just want you
You, you, you.
You belong to
me,
me,
me,
me.
And nobody else.
Mine alone
forever and always.
Sloth
Let's just lay
here...
not move at all.
Our bed is safe and warm
Let's call in to work
Just
this
once.
Make me feel
like I mean something
to you.
Wrath
Why?
How?
Why?
Questions swirling
in my head,
demanding answers.
Craving vengeance
for your betrayal.
Envy
I hate her
for having you first
that moment
belonged
to me.
Pride
Yet, after all you've done,
I still feel better
than you ever could
Because I know
I will always be
prettier
and
smarter
than any of your whores.
- Hannah Jo, 2009
Labels: envy, gluttony, greed, heartbreak, love, lust, pride, seven deadly sins, sloth, wrath
As I interviewed Velma Lee Parker, my great-grandmother, I found that I was greatly surprised by how small her world seemed. Her life revolved around God, her family, and her home. She didn’t seem as affected by many of the events as I had originally thought.
Having been taught my entire life about the impact of World War II and the following consequences, I had thought the war had had a large influence on everyone’s lives. I had fully expected World War I to be burnt permanently in my great-grandmother’s memory. I had anticipated stories of missiles and yellow ribbons, yet Mrs. Parker only registered the war, because certain items were restricted. The main upset during the war was that she was not able to attend both Sunday church services as she had previously.
I found my great-grandmother’s optimism and faith refreshing. In a world that is as pessimistic at today’s society, finding somebody who has such complete and utter faith in God or who finds joy in planting flowers is a rarity. She handled every difficulty with prayer, not on self-reliance, and as a result, their hardships typically ended well. This gives me hope.
I found Velma Lee Parker’s view on politics and certain presidents entertaining. She knows with such certainty that John F. Kennedy was shot, because God did not want a Catholic leading a the United States of America. This logic continues with our current president. She believes that if he is a Muslim, God will strike him down, rather than have him lead our country. She doesn’t see race, but politics and religion.
Hearing my great-grandmother discuss the war in Vietnam and the resulting death of my great-uncle Lonnie was rather difficult, as it’s also a difficult topic for her. It is the only time in her many years that she has admitted doubting God, and I believe the only time she has ever doubted God. Both she and Lonnie knew that he was never coming home. That is a difficult emotion to describe or to even imagine, and yet, she remains steadfastly proud of all that Lonnie did. His actions and his beliefs have an effect on her even now. She bases her political beliefs on what she believes Lonnie would do.
I was both shocked and unsurprised by Velma Lee Parker’s certainty that armageddon, the end of the world as we know it, is upon us. She knows the scriptures and views current events as signs of the end of the world.
As I was interviewing my great-grandmother, it dawned on me that she is an actual person, who has lived an actual life, a long life. She had a childhood, she had a long marriage, she raised three children, and many, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren, as well as a few great-great grandchildren. In my head, I have always seen her in her garden and associated her with mudpies. In my mind, she has always been the “jailkeeper” from the times I would hide under the side table in her living room. She would humor me and deliver my meals to my cell on toy tea sets. My great-grandmother has always been the quilt-maker and protector of mangy mutts. Now she’s more of a person to me. Though, she still protects that evil Pomeranian mutt.
-Hannah Jo, 2009
Having been taught my entire life about the impact of World War II and the following consequences, I had thought the war had had a large influence on everyone’s lives. I had fully expected World War I to be burnt permanently in my great-grandmother’s memory. I had anticipated stories of missiles and yellow ribbons, yet Mrs. Parker only registered the war, because certain items were restricted. The main upset during the war was that she was not able to attend both Sunday church services as she had previously.
I found my great-grandmother’s optimism and faith refreshing. In a world that is as pessimistic at today’s society, finding somebody who has such complete and utter faith in God or who finds joy in planting flowers is a rarity. She handled every difficulty with prayer, not on self-reliance, and as a result, their hardships typically ended well. This gives me hope.
I found Velma Lee Parker’s view on politics and certain presidents entertaining. She knows with such certainty that John F. Kennedy was shot, because God did not want a Catholic leading a the United States of America. This logic continues with our current president. She believes that if he is a Muslim, God will strike him down, rather than have him lead our country. She doesn’t see race, but politics and religion.
Hearing my great-grandmother discuss the war in Vietnam and the resulting death of my great-uncle Lonnie was rather difficult, as it’s also a difficult topic for her. It is the only time in her many years that she has admitted doubting God, and I believe the only time she has ever doubted God. Both she and Lonnie knew that he was never coming home. That is a difficult emotion to describe or to even imagine, and yet, she remains steadfastly proud of all that Lonnie did. His actions and his beliefs have an effect on her even now. She bases her political beliefs on what she believes Lonnie would do.
I was both shocked and unsurprised by Velma Lee Parker’s certainty that armageddon, the end of the world as we know it, is upon us. She knows the scriptures and views current events as signs of the end of the world.
As I was interviewing my great-grandmother, it dawned on me that she is an actual person, who has lived an actual life, a long life. She had a childhood, she had a long marriage, she raised three children, and many, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren, as well as a few great-great grandchildren. In my head, I have always seen her in her garden and associated her with mudpies. In my mind, she has always been the “jailkeeper” from the times I would hide under the side table in her living room. She would humor me and deliver my meals to my cell on toy tea sets. My great-grandmother has always been the quilt-maker and protector of mangy mutts. Now she’s more of a person to me. Though, she still protects that evil Pomeranian mutt.
-Hannah Jo, 2009
Labels: great-grandmother, history, pomeranian mutt
Thursday, March 5, 2009
"I'm sorry,"
your false apology
rings in my ears.
"I didn't mean to hurt you"
You think that
automatically gets you off the hook?
For everything else?
You think that’s good enough?
Two little words,
whispered over a static phone line,
are supposed to atone
for all the damage done.
Supposed to repair
years of hurt,
dry the tears
I cried over you.
Honey, that may have worked
in the past
but no more.
I'm through with this,
Because I finally realize
I'm worth far more
than broken promises
and whispered lies.
- Hannah Jo, 2009
your false apology
rings in my ears.
"I didn't mean to hurt you"
You think that
automatically gets you off the hook?
For everything else?
You think that’s good enough?
Two little words,
whispered over a static phone line,
are supposed to atone
for all the damage done.
Supposed to repair
years of hurt,
dry the tears
I cried over you.
Honey, that may have worked
in the past
but no more.
I'm through with this,
Because I finally realize
I'm worth far more
than broken promises
and whispered lies.
- Hannah Jo, 2009
Labels: apology, break-up, heartbreak, lies, worth
Up close,
we are all strange,
bizarre, odd,
and weird.
There is no
normalcy,
no average,
no typical.
- Hannah Jo, 2009
we are all strange,
bizarre, odd,
and weird.
There is no
normalcy,
no average,
no typical.
- Hannah Jo, 2009