The Unknown
Stars dimming,
Fading from sight
Leaving me,
Blinded,
Alone in the dark,
Running
From the unknown
Home: Wishing I was in, Unique New York, United States
About Me: I'm a theatre major working towards Broadway. My goal is to be stage managing there by the time I'm thirty. I write when the urge strikes, which is becoming increasingly rare.
posted by Jill at 2:37 PM
Monday, July 28, 2008
Abyss
Blue screaming water
Pounding
Into my small frame.
Struggling for air,
Choking,
Asphyxiating,
Suffocating
With every salty attempt at breath.
Deeper
And
Deeper
I
Fall
Swallowed by the black abyss.
Blue screaming water
Pounding
Into my small frame.
Struggling for air,
Choking,
Asphyxiating,
Suffocating
With every salty attempt at breath.
Deeper
And
Deeper
I
Fall
Swallowed by the black abyss.
Labels: Abyss, blue, breath, fall, salty, screaming, swallowed, water
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Once More
Give me your clothes
And I’ll give you mine
We’ll play dress -up
Like when I was eight
And you were nine
You can wear pink frilly frocks
And I’ll dress in your too big band shirts
We’ll laugh and dance
As I lose myself in your scent
Once more
Childhood sweethearts
Together once more
One stolen kiss
Leads to another
And so much more….
Then it’s over
And I’m left
Surrounded by your scent
Wearing your too big t-shirt
Alone on the floor
Used up
like our once favorite toys
A broken china doll
Awaiting her next play date
When she’ll be used
Once more….
Give me your clothes
And I’ll give you mine
We’ll play dress -up
Like when I was eight
And you were nine
You can wear pink frilly frocks
And I’ll dress in your too big band shirts
We’ll laugh and dance
As I lose myself in your scent
Once more
Childhood sweethearts
Together once more
One stolen kiss
Leads to another
And so much more….
Then it’s over
And I’m left
Surrounded by your scent
Wearing your too big t-shirt
Alone on the floor
Used up
like our once favorite toys
A broken china doll
Awaiting her next play date
When she’ll be used
Once more….
Labels: broken, childhood, More, Once, sex, sweethearts, Used
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Go Wolverines!
I sit with my father
Watching the game.
He laughs and cheers loudly
While I sit, silent and solemn
I take a bite of my pop-tart,
Toasted far too much
The crusty purple pastry
falls
to
pieces
In my hands
Now I stay here,
Attempting to repair
The irreparable
I sit with my father
Watching the game.
He laughs and cheers loudly
While I sit, silent and solemn
I take a bite of my pop-tart,
Toasted far too much
The crusty purple pastry
falls
to
pieces
In my hands
Now I stay here,
Attempting to repair
The irreparable
Labels: Daddy, Damaged, Daughter, Father, Football, Game, Sports
Friday, July 25, 2008
Chapter One:
The wind blew across the Zubair desert of Southern Iraq, stirring the dust, making it difficult to view the opposition. Major Johnson peered across the barren land that stretched for miles, his guard raised. His guard was always high; one doesn’t become a Major of the Army by being caught unaware. The convoy moved at an almost unbearably slow pace.
“S-sir.” A young man, a private, said from somewhere to his right.
“Yes?” Major Johnson replied, his eyes never halting their constant surveying of the landscape.
“What… What’s that?” Major Johnson turned towards the private, his eyes scanning to where the young man was pointing. Two or three suspicious looking men were crouched behind a dune, unaware that they’d been spotted.
“Prepare to fight, men.” Major Johnson ordered the soldiers in his convoy, the word quickly spreading among the ranks. “It’s an ambush.” The words no sooner left his lips than the suspected enemy attacked. Two dozen men swarmed the convoy, firing their weapons. The soldiers quickly reacted, moving into the defensive. Aiming towards the enemy, shooting to kill.
The enemy fell around them, fairly easy to take out. Bullets were flying through the air, whistling past the men. Major Johnson threw a grenade towards a cluster of the adversary when he felt a tremendous pain rip through his chest, felt as though his body was shattering into a thousand pieces. He continued to fire his M-16 towards the enemy, hoping to cause the maximum amount of damage, even as his vision began to cloud. He felt himself sink to the ground as his men continued to battle the insurgents, his weapon fell from his grasp. His body hit the ground as the world went black.
~ * ~
Dave Johnson wearily opens his eyes, blinded by a bright, white light. He blinks against the offending brightness, his eyes adjusting slowly. “He… hello?” He rasps.
“Ah, you’re awake.” A melodic voice floats through the air towards where he is lying. The carrier of the voice approaches him. “You had us scared there for awhile.” The beautiful voice tinkles. She’s next to him now, and she’s more beautiful than her voice makes her sound.
He’s died. Dave’s sure he’s dead, no human woman could ever be this beautiful. She leans over him, checking his vitals. Her dark, brown hair is falling out of her military-style bun, curling around her ears towards her neck, her long, graceful neck. She’s gazing at him now with those eyes, those vibrant, green eyes. Her lips are in a thin line, though he’s sure they’re usually red and full and her face is flushed red, as though she’s been very active or harried.
“How are you feeling.?” She asks him, breaking him out of his reverie.
“Umm… umm… fine, Ma’am.” he replies. “Just fine.” Dave attempts to sit up, wincing. “Arg!”
“Or not so much.” The angel remarks, helping the Major to lie down once more while causing the least amount of damage to his wound. “You should probably relax, Major Johnson, before you hurt yourself even more, especially since it appears you’ll be visiting us for awhile.”
“Where is here? And what is your name, Ma’am? It only seems fair, seeing as you already know mine.”
The angel smirked. “So original, Major.” She adjusted a knob on the equipment near his bedside. “You are at Al Asad Airbase, specifically the military hospital. You’re being treated for wounds you attained battling when your company was ambushed by a remaining group of Saddamists.” Dave let in a sharp intake of breath, anxious tension coursing through his body. He attempted to sit up, hissing when his body was forced once again to succumb to the pain inflicted upon it. “Don’t worry.” She assisted in resituating him to the least painful position available. “You were the only one seriously injured. No casualties. Just a few bumps and scrapes.” The Major let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “As for my name, it’s Bond. Jane Bond.”
Dave snorted and coughed, attempting not to laugh. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Unfortunately, I’m not. My parents twisted idea of a joke. They thought they were being clever.”
“Ah, well, it’s a very pretty name. I like it.”
“And you, Dear Sir, are a bad liar.”
“No Ma’am. I like it. A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet and all that.”
“Ah, so you like me in spite of my name.”
“Yes, I mean no, I mean…” Jane laughed at him.
- ~ * ~ -
Chapter Two:
Days passed and time flew. Before the Major Dave Johnson had realized it, he’d been in that Al Asad hospital for three weeks. He honestly hadn’t known time was going by so swiftly. He was enjoying Nurse Jane’s company more and more each day, and he dreaded the day when they’d have to part.
~ * ~
Jane Bond knew she shouldn’t get attached, knew he’d be leaving. However, she found herself unable to remain unattached to the handsome Major. His piercing grey-blue eyes seemed to be able to pierce her very soul, always able to see through her. His dark hair, which had been an inch long when he’d arrived, had started to grow and was curling cutely around his ears. His goofy grin and witty sense of humor were always able to make her smile, despite the day she may have been having.
She knew it would hurt. She knew that when he left, she’d be left destroyed. That’s what had happened the last time. She had treated a young lieutenant once, years ago, when this war had barely started. He had been sweet, caring, and handsome. He had also used her, making her love him, forgetting to mention that he had a wife and two children back in the states, including a baby girl he had never met before. Jane had been heartbroken and virtually destroyed. She had been lied to and worst of all, she’d willingly allowed him to use her, letting herself be strung along until he left. Only then did he mention his family. Jane had never felt more ashamed in her life.
~*~
“And how are we feeling today, Major?” Jane asked upon entering his area.
“Fine and Dandy” Dave always replied, no matter how he truly felt. Jane nodded, as always, before administer his medications. The sound system throughout the hospital was playing a slow, steady tune. “May I have this dance, Mademoiselle?”
“You, sir, are in no condition to dance.” Jane replied, touching the tip of her finger to his nose.
“That’s not a no, though. What about when I’m well? Will you dance with me then?”
“We’ll see.” Jane prepared to leave, she knew she couldn’t stay, let herself get any more attached to the handsome, young man in the bed before her.
“Wait. Don’t go.” Dave said to her retreating back. Jane stopped. “Come, sit, let’s talk for awhile.” Jane turned her head slightly, so as to be able to look over her shoulder. “Please?”
Jane sighed and returned to his side, settling herself in the cold, metal folding chair beside his bed. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?”
“You. I know so very little about you. I’d like to know more.”
“You’re not supposed to know a lot about me.”
“But I’d like to.”
“Alright, I’m 29. I’m from Topeka, Kansas, but I’m a Baltimore Ravens fan. Can’t stand the Chiefs, never could. I majored in nursing, because I wanted to help people. I became a military nurse, because, well, I was raised military. My dad was a Lieutenant Colonel, so we traveled a lot. I still keep in touch with most of the friends I made around the world. I also write. Oh, and my favorite type of ice cream is peach.”
“Hmm… interesting. Go on.” Jane glowered at Dave, causing him to laugh. “Come on, Love, I’m curious.”
“What did you call me?” Jane asked, startled.
“Er… Love. Is that a problem?”
Jane could feel herself blushing. “No… no. Not at all. Just surprised me as all.”
“Oh. Okay.” An Awkward silence descended upon the pair. After a few moments, Dave spoke up. “Hey, hey Jane?”
“Yes?”
“Can you come a bit closer for a sec.”
“Sure. Is something wrong?”
“Well, you see… if you can just lean forward for a moment.”
Jane leaned forward so that her face was mere inches away from Dave’s. “Yes.”
“Look at me.” Jane looked to Dave’s face, her eyes meeting his mesmerizing gaze. His lips descended upon hers, kissing her. His lips were soft and gentle against hers. She found herself kissing him in return, moving her lips in rhythm to his. They broke apart, still gazing at one another. “Wow.” Dave said, after a moment. “That was amazing.”
“Yes.” Jane agreed, attempting to catch her breath. Jane suddenly leaned back, realizing what had just happened, what she had allowed, what she had done, enjoyed. “I… I…”
“Are you okay?” Dave asked, looking worriedly at Jane.
“I… I’ve gotta go.” Jane quickly stood and practically ran from the area to the staff quarters.
“Jane. Jane? Jane!” Dave called toward her retreating form, hoping she would turn, let him explain. “Great, Dave, you’ve sure messed this up.” He whispered quietly to himself, throwing his head down onto the pillow.
~*~
Once Jane was safe in her quarters, she let the tears begin to fall. How could she have let this happen? It wasn’t suppose to happen, not again. She couldn’t let herself get hurt again.
She crawled into her bed and beneath the blankets fully clothed. She needed to think, to clear her head. She was falling in love with him, Major Dave Johnson. She cringed at the thought; she’d made herself vulnerable again.
~*~
The wind blew across the Zubair desert of Southern Iraq, stirring the dust, making it difficult to view the opposition. Major Johnson peered across the barren land that stretched for miles, his guard raised. His guard was always high; one doesn’t become a Major of the Army by being caught unaware. The convoy moved at an almost unbearably slow pace.
“S-sir.” A young man, a private, said from somewhere to his right.
“Yes?” Major Johnson replied, his eyes never halting their constant surveying of the landscape.
“What… What’s that?” Major Johnson turned towards the private, his eyes scanning to where the young man was pointing. Two or three suspicious looking men were crouched behind a dune, unaware that they’d been spotted.
“Prepare to fight, men.” Major Johnson ordered the soldiers in his convoy, the word quickly spreading among the ranks. “It’s an ambush.” The words no sooner left his lips than the suspected enemy attacked. Two dozen men swarmed the convoy, firing their weapons. The soldiers quickly reacted, moving into the defensive. Aiming towards the enemy, shooting to kill.
The enemy fell around them, fairly easy to take out. Bullets were flying through the air, whistling past the men. Major Johnson threw a grenade towards a cluster of the adversary when he felt a tremendous pain rip through his chest, felt as though his body was shattering into a thousand pieces. He continued to fire his M-16 towards the enemy, hoping to cause the maximum amount of damage, even as his vision began to cloud. He felt himself sink to the ground as his men continued to battle the insurgents, his weapon fell from his grasp. His body hit the ground as the world went black.
~ * ~
Dave Johnson wearily opens his eyes, blinded by a bright, white light. He blinks against the offending brightness, his eyes adjusting slowly. “He… hello?” He rasps.
“Ah, you’re awake.” A melodic voice floats through the air towards where he is lying. The carrier of the voice approaches him. “You had us scared there for awhile.” The beautiful voice tinkles. She’s next to him now, and she’s more beautiful than her voice makes her sound.
He’s died. Dave’s sure he’s dead, no human woman could ever be this beautiful. She leans over him, checking his vitals. Her dark, brown hair is falling out of her military-style bun, curling around her ears towards her neck, her long, graceful neck. She’s gazing at him now with those eyes, those vibrant, green eyes. Her lips are in a thin line, though he’s sure they’re usually red and full and her face is flushed red, as though she’s been very active or harried.
“How are you feeling.?” She asks him, breaking him out of his reverie.
“Umm… umm… fine, Ma’am.” he replies. “Just fine.” Dave attempts to sit up, wincing. “Arg!”
“Or not so much.” The angel remarks, helping the Major to lie down once more while causing the least amount of damage to his wound. “You should probably relax, Major Johnson, before you hurt yourself even more, especially since it appears you’ll be visiting us for awhile.”
“Where is here? And what is your name, Ma’am? It only seems fair, seeing as you already know mine.”
The angel smirked. “So original, Major.” She adjusted a knob on the equipment near his bedside. “You are at Al Asad Airbase, specifically the military hospital. You’re being treated for wounds you attained battling when your company was ambushed by a remaining group of Saddamists.” Dave let in a sharp intake of breath, anxious tension coursing through his body. He attempted to sit up, hissing when his body was forced once again to succumb to the pain inflicted upon it. “Don’t worry.” She assisted in resituating him to the least painful position available. “You were the only one seriously injured. No casualties. Just a few bumps and scrapes.” The Major let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “As for my name, it’s Bond. Jane Bond.”
Dave snorted and coughed, attempting not to laugh. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Unfortunately, I’m not. My parents twisted idea of a joke. They thought they were being clever.”
“Ah, well, it’s a very pretty name. I like it.”
“And you, Dear Sir, are a bad liar.”
“No Ma’am. I like it. A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet and all that.”
“Ah, so you like me in spite of my name.”
“Yes, I mean no, I mean…” Jane laughed at him.
- ~ * ~ -
Chapter Two:
Days passed and time flew. Before the Major Dave Johnson had realized it, he’d been in that Al Asad hospital for three weeks. He honestly hadn’t known time was going by so swiftly. He was enjoying Nurse Jane’s company more and more each day, and he dreaded the day when they’d have to part.
~ * ~
Jane Bond knew she shouldn’t get attached, knew he’d be leaving. However, she found herself unable to remain unattached to the handsome Major. His piercing grey-blue eyes seemed to be able to pierce her very soul, always able to see through her. His dark hair, which had been an inch long when he’d arrived, had started to grow and was curling cutely around his ears. His goofy grin and witty sense of humor were always able to make her smile, despite the day she may have been having.
She knew it would hurt. She knew that when he left, she’d be left destroyed. That’s what had happened the last time. She had treated a young lieutenant once, years ago, when this war had barely started. He had been sweet, caring, and handsome. He had also used her, making her love him, forgetting to mention that he had a wife and two children back in the states, including a baby girl he had never met before. Jane had been heartbroken and virtually destroyed. She had been lied to and worst of all, she’d willingly allowed him to use her, letting herself be strung along until he left. Only then did he mention his family. Jane had never felt more ashamed in her life.
~*~
“And how are we feeling today, Major?” Jane asked upon entering his area.
“Fine and Dandy” Dave always replied, no matter how he truly felt. Jane nodded, as always, before administer his medications. The sound system throughout the hospital was playing a slow, steady tune. “May I have this dance, Mademoiselle?”
“You, sir, are in no condition to dance.” Jane replied, touching the tip of her finger to his nose.
“That’s not a no, though. What about when I’m well? Will you dance with me then?”
“We’ll see.” Jane prepared to leave, she knew she couldn’t stay, let herself get any more attached to the handsome, young man in the bed before her.
“Wait. Don’t go.” Dave said to her retreating back. Jane stopped. “Come, sit, let’s talk for awhile.” Jane turned her head slightly, so as to be able to look over her shoulder. “Please?”
Jane sighed and returned to his side, settling herself in the cold, metal folding chair beside his bed. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?”
“You. I know so very little about you. I’d like to know more.”
“You’re not supposed to know a lot about me.”
“But I’d like to.”
“Alright, I’m 29. I’m from Topeka, Kansas, but I’m a Baltimore Ravens fan. Can’t stand the Chiefs, never could. I majored in nursing, because I wanted to help people. I became a military nurse, because, well, I was raised military. My dad was a Lieutenant Colonel, so we traveled a lot. I still keep in touch with most of the friends I made around the world. I also write. Oh, and my favorite type of ice cream is peach.”
“Hmm… interesting. Go on.” Jane glowered at Dave, causing him to laugh. “Come on, Love, I’m curious.”
“What did you call me?” Jane asked, startled.
“Er… Love. Is that a problem?”
Jane could feel herself blushing. “No… no. Not at all. Just surprised me as all.”
“Oh. Okay.” An Awkward silence descended upon the pair. After a few moments, Dave spoke up. “Hey, hey Jane?”
“Yes?”
“Can you come a bit closer for a sec.”
“Sure. Is something wrong?”
“Well, you see… if you can just lean forward for a moment.”
Jane leaned forward so that her face was mere inches away from Dave’s. “Yes.”
“Look at me.” Jane looked to Dave’s face, her eyes meeting his mesmerizing gaze. His lips descended upon hers, kissing her. His lips were soft and gentle against hers. She found herself kissing him in return, moving her lips in rhythm to his. They broke apart, still gazing at one another. “Wow.” Dave said, after a moment. “That was amazing.”
“Yes.” Jane agreed, attempting to catch her breath. Jane suddenly leaned back, realizing what had just happened, what she had allowed, what she had done, enjoyed. “I… I…”
“Are you okay?” Dave asked, looking worriedly at Jane.
“I… I’ve gotta go.” Jane quickly stood and practically ran from the area to the staff quarters.
“Jane. Jane? Jane!” Dave called toward her retreating form, hoping she would turn, let him explain. “Great, Dave, you’ve sure messed this up.” He whispered quietly to himself, throwing his head down onto the pillow.
~*~
Once Jane was safe in her quarters, she let the tears begin to fall. How could she have let this happen? It wasn’t suppose to happen, not again. She couldn’t let herself get hurt again.
She crawled into her bed and beneath the blankets fully clothed. She needed to think, to clear her head. She was falling in love with him, Major Dave Johnson. She cringed at the thought; she’d made herself vulnerable again.
~*~
Labels: assignment, english, Iraq, love, novel, romance, soldier, war, warfare, Zubair
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
She sat solemnly
in a recliner
made
of ripped upholstery,
Staring blankly
at the television
silently flashing
a commercial
for
The Jenny Craig Center.
The house echoing
the sound of the
dishwasher.
Really odd, I know.
in a recliner
made
of ripped upholstery,
Staring blankly
at the television
silently flashing
a commercial
for
The Jenny Craig Center.
The house echoing
the sound of the
dishwasher.
Really odd, I know.