1. It's time for people to accept the curves in their lives.
2. My mind; it's not a bad place for a different sort of reality.
3. I must be the luckiest gal to see your smile.
4. A child's laughter is the best thing I have ever known.
5. My life is simply unbelievable.
6. The last time I laughed really loudly was ages ago. Oh, how I miss school.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleep, tomorrow my plans include going to the Grand Gulf and Sunday, I want to write, though I will most likely wind up packing!
July 23
1. Losing you is not the end of the world. It just seems that way. A part of me will always regret our past together, but I am unable to look upon your fate compassionately when you knowingly attempted to destroy me. Even now, you're dragging me down, using guilt to keep me from living a fulfilling, happy life. I say no more. If you are unable or just unwilling to help yourself, then how am I to save you from the darkness.
You won't drag me down anymore, Nessa. I won't let you. I'm going to walk out of here with my head held high and go to lunch with my best friend. We'll talk about baby names and the men in our lives. And I will laugh, really laugh, where it reaches my eyes. Then, I'm going to go home to my wonderful fiance, who has put up with my pity and self-loathing since you were locked up. And I'm going to kiss him, find some way to make up for these terrible weeks. And we will get married and live happily ever after, complete with white picket fences.
You and I are not one and the same. This is something I must come to grips with.
You'll always be my sister, but you're no longer my friend.
2. Sitting here, listening to the sound of rain falling, I think about all that has happened. Of the times when you've rescued me from myself and the times when you needed support, after leaving your family three years ago. I think of the joy we've shared in this small apartment. The Saturday mornings you awoke, only to find that I'd already fled our warm bed to the kitchen, where I would be lip-syncing Aretha Franklin as I burnt the toast. Or finally reuniting with your family, apologies falling from everyone's lips as your mother embraced you, all tear-streaked smiles.
3. Each and every kiss tastes so good!
4. "Sometimes, putting others first is often necessary, but when you always feel the need to do so, you become a doormat. That's what I've done. At least with you, Nessa. So much of our time has been spent together that it's as if our lives are intertwined, and I suppose they are. But I can't put you first anymore. Doing so is making me miserable, ruining my life, ruining my relationships.
I see it in their worried eyes, the fear that I'm leaving them, slowly, but surely. Not physically, of course. Only mentally, emotionally, detaching myself from those that mean the most to me. I won't do that anymore. Not to them."
Elsie chuckled. "Guess I'm still putting others first. It's just a different person. And a different need."
5. The view from our little apartment window is breathtaking, really. You can peer down onto the London alley, watching all sorts of people live their lives. It was always one of our favorite things to do: people watch. We'd spend hours weaving complex stories for the short little man in the bowler hat or the too thin woman in stripes.
6. Well, maybe there is more to all of this.
posted by Jill at 2:31 AM